Penny Casselman [00:00:00]:
Don't leave free space to chance because I can almost guarantee it will never happen. The great thing is, and you know this well, we are the director of our lives. And if we are focused on doing something, we can choose to make it happen. And so I'm holding my red marker right now. I am committing to giving myself intentional free space. Welcome to the Pivot with Passion podcast. Hi. I'm Penny Casselman.
Penny Casselman [00:00:40]:
I believe everyone is deserving of a phenomenal life. Regardless of where you came from, life is what you make of it. And when you learn to pivot with passion, your world explodes with opportunities. Go grab your favorite beverage, and let's shake things up as we explore how to pivot with passion. Hello, and welcome. If you are new around these parts, welcome y'all. I am thrilled that you showed up. Thanks.
Penny Casselman [00:01:14]:
From the bottom of my heart and from my big red marker, thanks for pushing play. If you've been with me for a while, hey, hey. Welcome back. How was your last weekend? Were you running around like your hair was on fire trying to get 10 things done when you only had time for 8? Were you doing things for yourself over this past weekend, or were you solely focused on making sure everyone else got taken care of? That may look like running errands, going to the grocery store, dropping off dry cleaning, getting the kids somewhere, cooking dinner, putting gas in the car. And maybe for some of you, it was laying in a hammock outside with a good book or sipping on a cocktail with a beautiful umbrella in the cocktail. I fully support that last one, by the way. I ask this question because have you ever found yourself reviewing your calendar and realizing that you have an open day? Maybe you thought, holy crap. What the hell did I forget? Because this never happens.
Penny Casselman [00:02:27]:
I never have a free day. What am I missing? Or maybe you thought, work. Hey. I have this free time. I can do more work. I can be even more productive. Or maybe you secretly thought to yourself, yes. I finally have a day where I don't have anything.
Penny Casselman [00:02:47]:
So I'm gonna be real quiet about it because I don't want anyone encroaching on this beautiful empty space that is waiting for me when it arrives. Now I will tell you for me, I felt as giddy as a kid unleashed in an ice cream store told, go at it, get what you want. To be transparent, I had not planned to have the day free. It just so happened that Saturday didn't require anything from me. Now you might be saying, Penny, I never find myself with a day of nothing, let alone 3 hours of nothing. And I'm guessing that perhaps one of these next three things was happening as you were putting things on your calendar. Maybe you had FOMO, fear of missing out. Maybe an opportunity came along and really maybe weren't a 100% sold on doing it, but the fear of not being involved or not taking action was actually more scary than saying no.
Penny Casselman [00:04:05]:
So you said yes. Maybe you are always doing things for other people. I know I often have this pull of responsibility to ensure that other people have time with me, get what they need. So perhaps you find yourself in that situation. As I move through this episode today, what I wanna dive into is how can we embrace the day of nothing? How can we intentionally carve out time if it can't happen once a week, maybe once a month, where we are intentional, set time aside only for us, and maybe just enjoy the silence. Because I want us to stop believing that being busy equals productivity or importance. And I want us to start embracing the magic, the ease, the enjoyment, the fun, the spaciousness of a day of nothing, and what that can provide to us as we move forward and go after what we really want in life. It's time for a clarity cocktail.
Penny Casselman [00:05:28]:
Today's clarity cocktail comes from Maxwell Maltz. If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone. I love this. I know, Penny, you always say you love it. Yes, Yes. I do. I'm a quote, junkie. I admit it.
Penny Casselman [00:05:47]:
Hand raised. But I love this quote because I've actually had someone tell me they hate being alone. They don't like the quiet. They can't sit still. And they need constant stimulation. And while that makes me a little sad because as someone who studies personal development, there's gold in sitting quietly by yourself and just reflecting or journaling or being present and listening to the sounds, seeing the sights that are all around you without judgment, without care, just observing. But then I realized probably 90 plus percent of people in the world feel the same way. I don't know the exact statistics at the time that I am recording this, but I know that the number of individuals throughout the world who are committed to showing up as a better version of themselves and going after big goals, big dreams is a fraction of the population.
Penny Casselman [00:06:58]:
And so those words held truth for that person, which is why I adore this quote. If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone. Because it's okay that we sit with quiet, that we sit without demands on our time and appreciate where we are. Appreciate the moment. Take time to reflect on where we've been and the gratitude that we can bring to the moment. To make friends with yourself can be challenging. Make no mistake. In this day and age, we are bombarded with so much stimulus.
Penny Casselman [00:07:42]:
Our body starts to crave it. And so when we're asked to be quiet or would like to intentionally dial it down, it can be challenging. But Maxwell Maltz shines the light on the benefit that we can get by becoming friends with ourselves. Being okay with sitting in a room by yourself. Because if you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone. And now back to the episode. Cheers. Circling back to this idea of embracing a day of nothing.
Penny Casselman [00:08:23]:
Now to be transparent, my Saturday was accidental. I did not purposefully block out the day. It just so happened that that's what I was left with at the end of saying yes to a whole bunch of things. So here are 3 steps that you can take that will help you find some moments just for yourself. And like I mentioned earlier in the episode, I get that we all have commitments. There are still ways that you can be planful and carve out some time intentionally, which, by the way, I am committing to doing going forward. At least once a month and at least for 6 hours straight, I'm committing to giving myself nothing on my calendar. The great thing is, and you know this well, we are the director of our lives.
Penny Casselman [00:09:30]:
And if we are focused on doing something, we can choose to make it happen. And so I'm holding my red marker right now. I am committing to giving myself intentional free space to slow down, to think, to be full of gratitude, to practice being friends with myself. And here are 3 things you can do to help you find this time as well. First, be planful. Don't leave free space to chance because I can almost guarantee it will never happen. Side note, I'm not even sure the last time I had a free day outside of this last Saturday. I couldn't pinpoint when the last time it was that that happened.
Penny Casselman [00:10:21]:
So, yes, be planful, be intentional, and carve out some time. And the great thing is, ask the director, pick the day. It doesn't have to be a weekend. It could be in the middle of the week. It could be Monday. It could be Thursday. It could be Sunday afternoon, but block it out on your calendar because like they say, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Second thing is, say no more often, especially say no when opportunities arise for the block of time that you have carved out.
Penny Casselman [00:11:00]:
Now having said that, some immediate thoughts that might be going through your mind is, Penny, I will break out in hives if I have to tell someone no. I have yet to master this part of my life. I say yes to everything, and I'm not I'm not good at it. Fantastic. 1st rule is admitting that you have a problem. So congratulations if you find yourself in this camp and you cannot say no. Here are 2 alternatives I can offer. 1st, say no out loud by yourself.
Penny Casselman [00:11:38]:
You see, one of the things I find is you can think about saying no, but thinking about it doesn't have you actually saying it out loud. So practice saying no out loud in the kitchen every morning as you're pouring your cup of coffee. Say, no. No. Thank you. Thank you, but no. However you would phrase it. And the second thing you can do is if you don't want to say no, if that is palm sweating, pit sweating, sweat running down your face stressful for you to say no, could you instead say, thank you.
Penny Casselman [00:12:18]:
I'll need some time to get back to you. You didn't say no. You put the pause. You said thank you. And then if it's easier for you to say, I have to decline, put it in an email. Put it in a text. Right? There are ways around not having to say no out loud. But if you want to, practice and give it a try.
Penny Casselman [00:12:41]:
So let's recap. 1st, be planful. Put it on your calendar. 2nd, say no. Now if you can't say no outright and you truly need some time to think about it, that's okay. And that's where number 3 comes in. Because if you are feeling pressured to say yes to something that will encroach on your nothing time, then I want you to ask this question. Does this invitation increase my energy, improve my mood, and move me closer to my dreams? Or does this invitation drain my energy, lessen my mood, and move me further away from my goals? So if you've put a placeholder on something that could potentially be scheduled during your nothing time, ask that question.
Penny Casselman [00:13:35]:
I guarantee if you put something on your calendar where you had originally blocked out time for yourself and you answered question 3 with, yeah, it's not something that is energizing. I'm not excited about it. It is kind of out of the way for me, whether physically or mentally, it's out of the way to move me forward in my life. You will regret 100% showing up to that event, and you will beat yourself up. If you recall at the beginning of the episode, I said, I wanted us to stop believing that busy equals productive or important, and start embracing the magic of nothing time. There are so many benefits to being able to sit still with yourself and observe, enjoy, take in, appreciate, relax. Not only is there research to back that it's mentally good for you, it's also physically good for you. Even if you can only find 1 hour of time a week or 1 hour per month, start somewhere to plan for nothing.
Penny Casselman [00:15:03]:
You will find that your body appreciates it. You will find that your mind appreciates it. And I guarantee the people around you will also appreciate the fact that you took time for yourself. Why? Because it might actually give them permission to say, hey. I deserve that too. And I can appreciate that Penny said no because she was able to stay home, recharge, and refresh. I know that carving out time will be difficult. I'm anticipating that me putting some nothing time on my calendar is going to be challenging.
Penny Casselman [00:15:49]:
I usually have no shortage of invitations, offers, commitments, or just things I wanna go after that can fill up my calendar in the blink of my eye. But I am challenging myself, and I know that setting that time aside for me will be priceless. I remember that feeling I had on Saturday when I woke up and realized the entire day was my oyster. Whatever it is that I wanted to do, I could. And the ease and joy and appreciation and gratitude and everything that I felt that day just made whatever it was that I did even better. So I want you to know and remember and embrace that you are the director of your life. You hold the red marker. I want you to feel courageous this next week and optimistic that you can make anything happen.
Penny Casselman [00:17:00]:
And I want you to take bold and consistent action to create the phenomenal life that you deserve. Until next week, get out there, practice saying no, schedule some nothing time, and stay grounded in knowing that you are doing awesome. Friend, thanks for listening to this episode of Pivot with Passion. If you've been feeling stuck, exhausted, or frustrated, this is your permission slip to go grab a red marker and claim the life you desire and deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, and then hop over to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Because my goal is to put a red marker in everyone's hand, and I need your help to spread the word and make that happen. Until the next episode, go grab a red marker. Get excited for your future, and make your first move to pivot with passion.
