Penny Casselman [00:00:00]:
Think of a traditional affirmation statement as a closed accordion. I am strong. When it's closed, you might feel strong in that moment. You might be able to visually project that you are strong, but accordions don't make noise unless they're expanded and contracted. So think of the first part of your I am statement, the foundation. But in order to make it stick, we've got to open it up and close it back again and get it flexing and working for us. Welcome to the Pivot with Passion podcast. Hi.
Penny Casselman [00:00:54]:
I'm Penny Casselman. I believe everyone is deserving of a phenomenal life, and that life starts when you grab a red marker and claim what you truly desire. Regardless of where you came from, where you're at, or where you think you're headed, life is what you make of it. And when you learn to pivot with passion, your world explodes with opportunities. Go grab your favorite beverage and let's shake things up as we explore how to pivot with passion. Hello, my friend, and welcome to another playful episode of pivot with Passion. I'm Penny, your host, and I am proud of you for showing up today. Do you like how many alliterations I just had right there? I'm pumped.
Penny Casselman [00:01:46]:
Today, I wanna talk about why affirmations fail and what we should do instead. Now I don't know about you, where you are in your personal development journey, but at some point, you will have come across the idea of an affirmation. And that is an I am statement. And they are often used when we're going after something that we're not a 100% confident in yet. Affirmations are a way to help us boost belief, boost confidence in ourselves. But after using them for years, I finally found the trick to really get them to stick. So maybe you've heard the phrase, fake it till you make it. That's kind of the core of an affirmation is that you have an idea of what you want or where you want to go, but you're not quite there yet.
Penny Casselman [00:02:45]:
So you're trying to boost your belief. And I am statements help trick your mind into believing you're already there. Because your mind and we won't get into this deep today, but your mind can't tell the difference between reality and a thought that you have. So when you use phrases like I am strong, I am wealthy, I am CEO. Those may all be things you're going after but have not yet achieved. And so fake it till you make it, It works in the beginning. I know I stand a little bit taller when I use affirmations, but what happens as time goes on and I'm not getting immediate results, because we all know nothing can come fast enough, I start to allow imposter syndrome to creep in, and then suddenly doing an I am statement and trying to fake it till I make it absolutely would fall flat. What do you do instead? Affirmations are important, but they can't be used alone.
Penny Casselman [00:03:57]:
What trips me up and what I've found in talking to other people is it's that gap that trips us up between where we are now and where we know we need to go. So for instance, if someone just graduated college and their desire is to be a CEO one day, waking up every morning and saying, I am a CEO. When they haven't even landed a first job, the gap between where they are and where they wanna go is so big and there are so many unknowns, that affirmation alone is not going to get them where they need to be. Affirmations are extremely useful in helping us set the direction of where we're focused, where we are headed, where we are committed to going. But here's the nuance. How do you navigate setbacks? What do you do when there's confusion between where you are and where you wanna go? The reason I started this podcast is because I wanted to dive into what does it take to pivot with passion? What does it take for you to go from one direction or after one goal in your life and pivot and have success going after something else. Well, you've probably heard me say it more than one occasion. It starts with a red marker moment.
Penny Casselman [00:05:24]:
Now in episode 27, I dug into all the components of a red marker moment. And if you happen to miss that one, I'll link to it in the show notes because it gives you a good basis for where pretty much all of my topics come from. But affirmations, they set the vision. They help strengthen our belief and they help us move into action in going after what we want. It's time for a clarity cocktail. Today's clarity cocktail comes from Marie Curie. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Penny Casselman [00:06:11]:
Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less. I find this quote so appropriate, not only for the episode topic today, but for life in general, and especially during these times now where it seems there are so much polarization in our nation. So I'll read it again for you to just noodle on for a second. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less. I especially like this for the topic of affirmations today because it's a fantastic expression of what lots of people call the messy middle. And really, the messy middle is that gap between where you are now and where you want to be.
Penny Casselman [00:07:10]:
And in that messy middle, in that fake it till you make it, there's a lot that you have to overcome. As I stated at the top of the podcast, imposter syndrome for me hits hard if all I do is use simple affirmations, simple I am statements. Because where I'm headed, I'm not there yet. Embracing the messy middle, embracing nothing is to be feared, only understood, kinda gives me a moment to take a deep breath and let it out and realize it's okay that I don't really understand what it is I need to do, or what it is I need to be successful in going after what I want. There's no reason to fear the unknown. We simply need to understand it. Because my friend, adulting is difficult. The struggle is real, my friend.
Penny Casselman [00:08:13]:
And so being able to put fear in perspective and realize there's no reason to be afraid, simply understood. Ask more question. Figure out how you might course correct or learn something new. Try something out of your comfort zone. Because it is only when we fear less that we are able to take bigger steps forward, bigger strides towards our goals. And that's why I picked this short, sweet, little clarity cocktail from Marie Curie. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Penny Casselman [00:08:54]:
Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less. And now back to the episode. Cheers. Circling back to the idea of affirmations and why they don't work on face value because of that gap. I just thought of this metaphor right now. So think of a traditional affirmation statement as a closed accordion. I am strong. When it's closed, you might feel strong in that moment.
Penny Casselman [00:09:29]:
You might be able to visually project that you are strong, but accordions don't make noise unless they're expanded and contracted. So think of the first part of your I am statement, the foundation. But in order to make it stick, we've got to open it up and close it back again and get it flexing and working for us. So let's pretend that you want to run a marathon. And your affirmation is, I am a marathon finisher. Now notice I didn't just say marathon runner. Because by leaving out finisher, anybody, I suppose, could be called a marathon runner and never finish. Right? So always think about being specific.
Penny Casselman [00:10:22]:
I digress, but stay with me. Using the accordion idea of taking that affirmation and seeing the end result, but knowing you've got to fill the messy middle. Here's what I would do if I was someone starting from the sofa, and that would be this. I am a marathon finisher. And today, that looks like going for a 5 mile walk even though I don't want to because that's how a marathon finisher trains. Yeah. Do you see the nuance in that? If all I said was I am a marathon finisher, What do I do on days where I don't want to get off the sofa? I don't wanna take the extra effort, or I suddenly think I wanna give up because we didn't address the gap. But filling it in with a little bit more detail helps us stay on the path.
Penny Casselman [00:11:24]:
This structure, and I will put it in the show notes, looks something like this. I am blank. And today, that looks like blank because that's how blank. Okay. Here's an example I'll use from my life. This is something I have yet to achieve, I want to achieve, and here's how I would apply it to myself. I am a top rated podcast show. And today that looks like planning out a month's worth of topics, even though I don't feel like it.
Penny Casselman [00:12:06]:
Because that's how a successful podcast host acts. I have filled in the gap with a small action that fills the distance between where I am today and where I want to go. And you can do the same thing. Another real life version for me would be the day I picked up a red marker and declared, I am a speaker. I dove in. I didn't even allow myself a second thought. I was going around the house saying, I am a speaker, and it felt good. I could feel myself on stage.
Penny Casselman [00:12:51]:
I could feel myself crafting a message to deliver to others. But I had no idea what it was gonna take. So what I found was I started to backfill that affirmation, that I am statement, and I would fill it in as I was going. Because my friend, you do not have to know every step to get you from point a to point b. You just need one small action. You don't have to know them all because one small action will help lead you to another and will keep moving you forward. So I filled in the rest of the statement. I am a speaker.
Penny Casselman [00:13:39]:
And today, that looks like outlining my keynote talk because that's how all great speakers begin. My challenge to you this upcoming week is think about something you really want in your life. Maybe it's something you want to start. Maybe it's something you want to stop. Whatever your affirmation states, it doesn't have to be physical thing. I may have mentioned that because I'm so in the mindset of gift giving tons of examples that I use will be physical things because that's what I lean on. That's what I'm good at. That's where I find joy.
Penny Casselman [00:14:26]:
And so lots of things that I go after are physical things. However, you might want to be the best PTA mom for next year. So it doesn't have to be a physical thing. So please don't get caught up when I share example. Make them relevant for you. But think of something that you are going after, that you want, that you are searching for, And use that framework. I am fill in the blank. And today that looks like fill in the blank, because that's how fill in the blank.
Penny Casselman [00:15:06]:
And I think you'll find that those extra nods to action and belief and vision after that I am statement will be the magic that moves you forward in what you're going after. Because like I said earlier, you don't have to know the how. You just have to be willing to take action and learn because today, my friend, is a perfect day to claim your red marker moment. Until next week, go find a patio, raise a glass, and cheers your ultimate success. Friend, thanks for listening to this to go grab a red marker and claim the life you desire and deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend, and then hop over to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Because my goal is to put a red marker in everyone's hand, and I need your help to spread the word and make that happen. Until the next episode, go grab a red marker, Get excited for your future and make your first move to pivot with passion.
