Penny Casselman [00:00:00]:
I want you to believe that the words that you use matter. They shape how we view the world, how we view our circumstances, how we interact with others, how productive we are in a day, how much stress we pile on ourselves. I want you to know today and every day that you are worth the effort. And this week, you're worth the effort in examining the words that you use to talk to yourself. Welcome to the Pivot with Passion podcast. Hi. I'm Penny Casselman. I believe everyone is deserving of a phenomenal life, and that life starts when you grab a red marker and claim what you truly desire.
Penny Casselman [00:00:55]:
Regardless of where you came from, where you're at, or where you think you're headed, life is what you make of it. And when you learn to Pivot with Passion, your world explodes with opportunities. Go grab your favorite beverage, and let's shake things up as we explore how to Pivot with Passion. Hello. Welcome to another episode of the Pivot with Passion podcast. I'm so thrilled to be with you today, and let's just dive in. So the last episode, I talked a lot about listening and how important it is in every aspect of our lives to help move us forward. Today, I'm gonna flip it 180 degrees and talk about the words that we use to communicate and why they matter, why we should care, and why we should choose wisely.
Penny Casselman [00:01:54]:
Now back in episode 7, I talked about a word swap between should and could. And my my joke was stop shoulding on yourself. Right? We have enough on our plates in our everyday lives that when we start going, I should do this, I should do that, I should do x y z, we can really get down on ourselves and feel overwhelmed. Right? So I'll link to that episode. You might wanna take a jog back, take a listen to that one. But today, there are 3 phrases that we'll get into later that I believe help support the entire idea behind Pivot with Passion, and that is can't Pivot with Passion unless you first have a red marker moment. So these phrases, when we dive into them, really support belief in yourself, your ability to take action, and the vision that you hold for your future. And I was just doing some more research and a whopping 7%.
Penny Casselman [00:03:01]:
That's it, my friend. 7% of our communication are the actual words that come out of our mouth. And I started to think, wow, how am I going to make the case that the words we use are so important. And I started thinking, who's the one person you talk to the most? I'll let you noodle on that for a minute. I'm here to tell you, it's you. Think about how often we are in our heads having conversations with ourselves, talking to ourselves, berating ourselves, all the things, we are the ones that we talk to the most. We all have different learning modalities, the way that we interpret information and how we use it. I know when I talk to myself in my head, I do have intonation differences.
Penny Casselman [00:03:58]:
I might shout at myself in my head, but there are other people who maybe it is literally just that 7%. They are just getting the words. Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum, we're gonna really dive into setting ourselves up for success when it comes to moving our life in the direction that we want. My hope after this episode is that you see the value, you see the intention behind examining the words that you use and choose to stop berating yourself, to stop negative self talk, and instead talk to yourself like you were 3 years old, because I guarantee the way you would share thoughts, ideas, boost morale, offer empathy to a 3 year old is much different than what you would do to appear or even yourself. It's time for a clarity cocktail. Today's clarity cocktail comes from William James. The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. How appropriate is that for this episode? I couldn't have made up a better quote for today's cocktail.
Penny Casselman [00:05:29]:
I started thinking back to all the times in my life where I have felt extreme stress. There are times where work was far more stressful than my personal life, and, certainly, vice versa is also applicable depending on what decade and year that I look at. But then I started thinking, how about just on a daily basis? Like, where do I find stress? Immediately, my brain went to traffic. And I believe if you're anything like me, you've been cut off in traffic before, or you have been backed up because of an accident that was 10 feet or 10 miles ahead of you and felt that heat rise up into your face, white knuckling the steering wheel thinking, what a jerk that you just cut me off, or I can't believe I'm gonna be late for x y z. And that's stress. Right? This is all induced stress. We are inducing the stress on ourselves. And maybe a decade ago, I started to realize I didn't like feeling stressed when I was driving.
Penny Casselman [00:06:46]:
There was zero fun in that. I am a person who loves driving. I love cars outside of going to a Lowe's or a Marshalls store, which both are my places of joy. Probably above both of those is being in a car by myself on the road taking it all in. It truly is one of my happy places to be in my car. And I was finding that I was sick of being stressed due to circumstances that I had zero control over. I got to a point where when someone cut me off, I just started to internally say, wow. Please be safe.
Penny Casselman [00:07:30]:
Please get to where you're going in one piece, and I hope all is well. And it was in those words that I felt some empathy, some compassion for the person that just clearly had no regards for me or my car. But I truly didn't know what they were going through, and to help me release the stress is I chose one thought over another. I wasn't choosing the thought that they were being a jerk to me. I was choosing that they had an emergency I knew nothing about, and they were speeding off to take care of it. I also reflect back on when I was learning how to play volleyball. I guarantee as much as this is so far in my rearview mirror at this point, there were days that I said, I can't do this. I can't serve the ball overhand.
Penny Casselman [00:08:23]:
But then I realized, eventually, I did serve the ball overhand. So somewhere along my path, my brain was saying enough with the I can't, and, Penny, how can you? Most of that, in my case, had to do with getting older, getting stronger, and then studying the mechanics and watching other people do the same activity and modeling what they did. And even today, as I participate in so many webinars and group sessions, there are absolutely times when I don't wanna pay attention. I have this really strong urge to multitask and do something else instead of being present, which can cause me some stress. So instead of thinking to myself, I don't wanna do it. I remind myself, what can I learn? Right? What new piece of information can I glean from the experience I'm about to undergo? Right? Like always, these clarity cocktails are in the show notes. So if you find that any of them resonate for you, by all means, hop over there, grab it, print it off, write it on a post it, post it somewhere that you will see and reflect on with how fast paced the world is today. Stress is bound to come at you from every direction.
Penny Casselman [00:09:55]:
And so hold close William James' quote. The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. And as you go forward this week, my friend, I will challenge you to do just that. And now back to the episode. Cheers. Okay. Circling back to why the words you choose matter. I mentioned at the top of the episode, there were 3 word swaps that I wanted to introduce and just share with you that over the years, help me reframe situations, help me move forward with purpose and intention and excitement.
Penny Casselman [00:10:36]:
Right? The first one is have to versus get to. How many times have you said, I have to do the laundry. I have to go grocery shopping. I have to put gas in the car. I have to call this person. So let me just say right now, there are so few things in life that we have to do, period. Even taxes. Right? You can choose not to do them.
Penny Casselman [00:11:07]:
You can choose not to put gas in your car. You can say, I don't have to go to the grocery store. Now are there consequences if we say we don't do them? Absolutely. Do we like the consequences? Probably not. But what happens if instead of saying, I have to go to the grocery store, you rephrase it and say, I get to go to the grocery store. Does that feel a little bit different to you? I have to go to the grocery store versus I get to go to the grocery store. It's so small, but try it out with with anything that you might quickly respond with, I have to. What if you instead said, I get to, because I guarantee there are people that don't get to go to the grocery store.
Penny Casselman [00:11:59]:
There are people who don't put gas in their car because of life circumstances. They simply can't. So there is some gratitude when you switch the phrase and say get to. That's the first one. The next word swap is decide versus choose, and this one is huge. And when I hear people throw around the word decide, it kind of makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up a little bit. 1st, the root word is literally to cut off. When I think about decide, judges decide case.
Penny Casselman [00:12:41]:
A jury decides what happens. Right? There is no other alternatives once they issue their ruling. Now people can appeal, and I'm not even gonna go down that whole hot mess. I'm not an attorney. But more often than not, the judgment stands. Most things in our life aren't that radical. Most things in our life are choices. Right? If I say I decided not to attend the event, maybe it was, a wedding reception of someone that you had a fight with last week, and you decided you weren't gonna go to the reception.
Penny Casselman [00:13:25]:
Well, the reception's in 2 months, and a month later, you reconcile with this person. You still have the option to go. You just chose. And by being so direct and claiming I've decided, it almost makes you kinda look like an ass if you reverse. Where if you simply say, I'm choosing not to go to the reception. A month later, you can choose something else. It's just like going to get ice cream. I've decided I'm having chocolate sundae.
Penny Casselman [00:13:57]:
Well, if you get up to the window and the person says, oh, so sorry. We ran out of chocolate today. What? You've made a decision. Like, can you go back on your decision? Much easier to say, today, I'm choosing to have chocolate. And if you go up to the window and they say, oh, no chocolate today, you say, Well, then I'm gonna choose strawberry. Many more options available and slightly less definitive when you use the word choose versus decide. And the 3rd word swap you can do is change versus evolve. To me, things can change.
Penny Casselman [00:14:39]:
People evolve. As I record this, I'm sitting in my office, and I'm trying to think of an example of change versus evolve. So I'm looking at the curtains right in front of me, and I realize if I choose, like how I use that word phrase there, choose to change my curtains, I can take these down, go buy some new ones, and put them up. In that instance, my curtains have changed. They literally are not the same thing. No part of them. Different fabric, different color, different everything. But when it comes to people, when it comes to me, I don't change.
Penny Casselman [00:15:19]:
I evolve. And here's where I find the nuance. Evolve allows me to keep everything that I've done and experienced and felt and consumed in my lifetime with me as I move forward. When you think about the context of a career, we'll use that. If you think about changing careers, that can bring up a ton of stress thinking, how will I ever make a pivot? How will I change what I'm doing? But here's the beauty. You can move industries, move titles, and evolve your career. Doesn't that feel much better? Changing leaves you with the feeling that I have to leave everything I've ever known, done the door. Where Evolve is, hey, I get to take everything I've done up to this point in my life and take it with me on a new adventure.
Penny Casselman [00:16:26]:
And that is why I'm passionate about people don't change, we evolve. And not only if you think about it in terms of a job, but we can also evolve our thoughts. 20 years ago, you may have thought differently about the genre of movies that you like, but maybe you took a film class. Maybe you have a friend who's into film, and they gave you some insights that allowed you to have a new appreciation. And so you're not changing your view on movies. You're simply evolving what you prefer. So to recap, those are the 3 word swaps I would encourage you to think about over this next week. Have to versus get to, decide versus choose, and change versus evolve.
Penny Casselman [00:17:17]:
How much more empowering is it when you stand in the belief, in your vision, and in your willingness to take action when you say, I get to choose and evolve. I love that little phrase to help remind me. I get to choose and evolve in moving my life forward. Now you might be saying, Penny, that sounds like a lot of effort, and how am I supposed to remember all these things? I'm so conditioned. It's so routine for me to use those. Remember at the top of the episode when I said, I want you to talk to yourself like you would a 3 year old version of you. So here's a little secret. On my desk to my left, I have a 5 by 7 of me at 3 years old.
Penny Casselman [00:18:11]:
It is a sunny day. I have pigtails. I am wearing my mom's sunglasses, and it looks like I'm leisurely lounging on my little glider swing on the swing set. And I keep that picture out at all times for me to look at because when I feel slightly stressed or full blown stressed, I take a breath, and I look at 3 year old Penny. And I usually say something like, hey, girl. How you doing over there? You're looking good in mom's sunnies. Yeah. Back on.
Penny Casselman [00:18:51]:
Life was good. And just that slight pause, that quick break stops the cycle of the words that I'm using, like have to, decide, change, I can't, into let's remember. How can I? I get to choose and evolve. My friend, I want you to believe that the words that you use matter. They shape how we view the world, how we view our circumstances, how we interact with others, how productive we are in a day, how much stress we pile on ourselves or others. And I know that if you can harness even one of these word swaps, it will put a pep in your step. It will give you some new perspective. It will help you Pivot with Passion and it will help propel you forward and make no mistake that people around you will notice the shift in your attitude.
Penny Casselman [00:19:56]:
I want you to know today and every day that you are worth the effort. And this week, you're worth the effort in examining the words that you use to talk to yourself. I want you to feel empowered to pivot and start making those word swaps, empower yourself to take positive action. And I want you to grab your dreams. I want you to know that you get to choose the next step forward, the next action vision, and hold belief in yourself that you will evolve and experience the phenomenal life that you deserve. Now, my friend, again, hop in the show notes if you wanna grab that clarity cocktail. And don't forget, I'm giving away a free red marker to anyone who wants one. Details are in the show notes, and I can't wait to see you back here again next week.
Penny Casselman [00:21:01]:
Friend, thanks for listening to this episode of Pivot with Passion. If you've been feeling stuck, exhausted, or frustrated, this is your permission slip to go grab a red marker and claim the life you desire and deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend and then hop over to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts because my goal is to put a red marker in everyone's hand, and I need your help to spread the word and make that happen. Until the next episode, go grab a red marker, get excited for your future, and make your first move to Pivot with Passion.
